let's play catching up

yes, this is an update of my life.

games. we all play them. some are fun. some are not. lately, i've been playing a game in NUS and it seems that this game will not end unless a semester ends. this game is called " catching up". day in day out, i know i am lagging behind in lectures and tutorials. day in day out, i try to catch up by attempting to read and understand whatever being taught. day in day out, my brain's rate of absorption isn't as quick or great as i hope or expect it to be. day in day out, i know time is my enemy but there is so much i could do.

yeah, i guess i'm pretty stressed with the workload. well, guess i need more time to get used it.. or i could just train myself to be numb to such pace. good luck to myself.

we slow for no one

thoughts in the am

random post.

been a while since i stayed up until so late in the night or early in the morning. quiet night. peaceful surroundings. time to recollect one's thoughts and what not. therapeutic. nonetheless, i know i cannot always stay up so late to prevent myself from falling sick or having too much a sleep debt.

choices

yes, this is an update of my life.

i remember myself saying school term not really having much time and what not. well,  shall build on that by moving on to say that being busy really makes one ponder hard and prioritise which aspect of your daily live comes first and what not. yes, tough choices.

revision. sufficient sleep. CCA time. social gatherings. family time. me time.

those are probably the main aspects day in day out as i live my life in NUS. i used to able to even out the time pretty well among those aspects. however, it seems it isn't the case now. so what have i decided to reduced? yes, reduce but not that i don't eliminate it.. since eliminating any would probably be as good as chopping of one of my limbs. to be frank, i think i have reduced sleep time and family time the most. i have slightly less me time too. at times, reducing any of the three i just mentioned makes me feel guilty but i would always try to make up to them now and then.

ohh well, no one said university would be easy and what not. i'm just surviving as much as i can and hopefully emerge in a few years time into the real working world with minimal regrets.

post results

yes, this is an update of my life.

so i have officially got back all the results for my midterms. well, honestly.. just really mixed feelings. for some i think i exceeded my own expectations while some others fell slightly short of my expectations. if i have known earlier, i would have rush a little more when i was doing my papers given the ridiculous shortage of time. if i have known earlier, i would not have left questions blank for they would give easy pity marks.

ohh well, what's done is done. guess moving on i have to really understand each topic inside out. it is not longer like in JC or secondary school where you can just know the key concepts and what not. another month left before i take on the final exams again. harsh reality but i really hope i will have the strength and perseverance to really pull through it all. hell, it's only my year 1 semester 1 and it's challenging. i should start getting used to the pain and stress then. most would not say university is easy. of course, some teachers in JC have said so though.. ohh more freedom more relaxed less stressful. for this one moment i shall forget what you have done for me and say "DAMN YOU, LIAR".

my heart continues to beat

turn the pain into power

conflicted

yes, this is an update of my life.

half of the semester has gone by just like that. yes, somewhat i have adapted to this new lifestyle of mine.. university lifestyle. yes, i have also adapted to the fact that i am no longer young for i am already 21 and in many eyes, 21 signify adulthood though i beg to differ in some aspects. so naturally there would be expectations from parents and friends. one of the main thing my parents and close friends have prompted about is my love relationship.

funny thing is parents used to discouraged it for the last 20 years or so. when i last got attached, i remember them not being that open and happy about it. however, now they are asking as though they are expecting something to happen. sorry mum and dad, nothing yet. as for close friends, i can understand. in almost every stage of the education life, they would ask and somehow or rather it has been a trend to have one by university or to get one in university. well, for me, this is where i'm a little conflicted.

to start off, i don't really to follow trends nor surrender to peer pressure easily. so what's my take? well, personally i think i am not that capable to juggle whatever i have to juggle now and plus another thing known as relationship commitment. no, not that i'm afraid of commitments but rather, ii figure i might not be able to invest sufficient amount of time and effort into one. if one can deal well with it, might as well not start one for now. next, to have another half means you are sure you are able to really care for her on top of caring for yourself. as of now, i am still unsure if i am even taking good care of myself. the care here i am talking about is everything.. health, social relations, academics and what not. last and probably the least impactful reason, i dislike thinking about what will happen next if rejection occurs.

so yeah, those are my take. no hurry, just taking my time.

elitism

this is just a random topic that i thought of while i was lying in bed heading to dreamland hours ago. elitism.. i hate it. elitism in any places.. i hate it. it can be from academics point of view or sports point of view. either way, i don't like people practising elitism in those aspects. elitism creates and boundary. elitism provides unwanted stress. elitism eliminates people who really want to learn out of passion despite them not being better at that aspect.

well, it is just really sad to see elitist doing what they do, depriving others of fun and learning opportunities.

drama season

yes, this is an update of my life.

as from the title, one who follows American drama shows should know that the new seasons and episodes are streaming in. so yeah i have been catching up on them in the middle of my revision and what not. another thing to start juggling given the limited time one have in a day.

love

private CAP

yes, this is an update of my life.

been a while since i really sit and talk about whatever has happened around me. today is the day then. last week was too busy with midterms and what not. post midterms last weekend was awesome. kind of  forced myself to really enjoy and play my heart out and not care about any work. reason being? probably the next time i get to really do that will be in December when the finals are over. so yeah.. my dramas are slowly coming back and managed to catch up of numerous movies last weekend.

past week has been decent too. as usual, work will pile and i will be playing catch up as always. nonetheless, i'm sure i can survive for i have survived half a semester now. really thankful for those friends around me who never fails to make school life more liveable. hall friends with supper and training sessions and meetings. SOW OG mates hanging out and chilling now and then. these tend to allow us to really set aside all the worries temporary. good for the brain.. haha.

one thing that is rather disturbing to me is the question of CAP. okay, i'm a freshman maybe i might understand one day. however, for now, i am not too sure why majority love to keep their CAP as a deep dark secret though they are obviously performing well. has the society gone to a state where such things aren't supposed to be shared even with your trusted close friends? even given a range is better than saying "no lah cannot lah.. this one private".

how this world turns cold

been reminiscing good old songs these days. just one of those days when their lyrics describe what you are going through.

back to marathon

no, i do no run marathons nor half-marathons.. not those 21km or 42km. the marathon here is not the literal meaning. well, it has been a bonus to have an extended weekend just after hell week filled with midterms. nonetheless, come tomorrow i have to get back into the game and start working hard again. no one said college would be easy and i know it will not be any easier.. just need to sustain a constant motivation. cannot wait to reach the finish line of final exams. when i run pass it, i hope i know that i have done everything i could and the outcome would be pleasing.

with all those said, i wish all my college peers and friends all the best in the mean time as well.

loving angels instead

a short breather

so thankful that this weekend will be longer than the usual weekends. Monday is also a public holiday so yeah to three days of weekend. this decent break come just right after the week of midterms.. allow one to really take a breather.

for a couple of days, i can really chill. no need to try to play too much catch up of my classes. no need to rush assignments and tutorials. no need to be really pressured for the limited time given to me. i can spend quality time with friends and family. i can spend personal time to enjoy myself.. indulging in watching movies and little online gaming.

so thankful for this extended break before i have to start running again.

midterms

damn so the mini hell week is finally over. no more exams for quite a few more weeks for now. shan't really say individually how the papers were. guess i just got to say the standard of exams in college is really a new level of tough. tougher questions and yet shorter time given. now i am praying to the force of the bell curve like many others as well.

hello October

still in the midst of all the midterm tests and what not so shan't really post anything lengthy yet. so in a blink of an eye, here comes October. to start the month off let me share something super funny that happened last year. well inside joke for those who knows the songs by Green Day.