crystal eyes

storm

damn Indonesia

yes this is an update of my life.

been telling lots of lies to myself lately. almost every single day for teh past week i would tell myself to not blog that day for i can always blog the following day. the following day came and the same thing repeats.. haha repeat and repeat until now when i decided to stop the vicious cycle.

so anyway, recess week for NUS is nearing its end. really hope whatever effort i have put in isn't exactly in vain. managed to catch up quite a bit in my studies and what not but still slightly behind even as of now. better.. but still behind. really hope the midterms won't be a great killer and what not. nonetheless, maybe still can not panic and worry that much yet. i still have about a week before my first midterm anyway.

last few days have been really hardcore discipline. you realise i say hardcore discipline but not hardcore studying. well because i think i work more on my self-discipline rather than studying. i tried to make sure to wake up not too late so i will not waste a morning. also not too early until i am very sleep deprived. during the day i tried to keep to my schedule and give myself appropriate breaks and what not in between. worked out pretty well i guess.

time management is key to me i guess. i like to be organised in everything i do.. even when it comes to allocating time for anything. call me old fashion or boring or what but i think this method works well for me. i'm happy with it anyway. one good thing also would be making sure i have time for everything. work, play, social time and what not.

moving on.. really glad the American shows are back on air with all new seasons. there will be days in the week to look forward too even more. however, what's no good is the stupid haze in Singapore presently. thanks Indonesia.. i hope those responsible for it will die by choking on their own toxic air.. lol. until next time then.

cheers.

stress

this is just some random, hopefully one-time-off, rant.

while many rejoice at the fact that NUS recess week is next week, i remain emotionless. to me, i think this week is just a mere break from face-to-face classes.. not a real break kind of break. the stress i feel still remains.. or maybe even more. yeah, i choose to believe i can handle stress well and hide my worries better than others. but the fact that i am saying and pouring things out here worries me. maybe i have reached my breaking point and from here i will just spiral into temporal state of self-pity as i choke my mind with worries. at times, i really wonder how much or what will it considered as unnecessary stress? i mean, stress can be a good motivation now and then but it is also a tool for suicide. relax.. i'm stressed not stupid to do anything silly. nonetheless, i really hope all these will be gone soon.

timely tune

people's RO

as we wait for teh GE2015 results, let us remember this hero of the previous election. haha.. if only he could be the one reporting the results later in the evening. too bad he found a better job.

partial truth

you hear it in the business world most of the time i guess. apparent from the title of this post, of course i’m talking about the idea of partial truth. is partial truth ethical or right? i’ve discussed this topic with couple of my friends over though not all the time regarding the business world. we somehow would also expand this topic to our daily basis. so i shall attempt to iron things out on this topic in this post. whether you agree or not doesn’t really matter to me for i know such a topic draws countless viewpoints anyway.

before going into the details, i shall state my interpretation of the term first. the term “partial” here signifies incompleteness but not a lie or a white lie, for the matter. it means that the entire story or the truth isn’t revealed. well, “truth” here is pretty straightforward. i’m sure my definition of it is the same as you and the dictionary. 

moving on, i think giving partial truth is nothing wrong. nothing wrong doesn’t mean completely alright but i’ll go on to the exceptions later. how is it not wrong? well, personally i think it as something similar to giving certain information. like for example, if you are telling a story or an event that happen to a friend, you might leave out certain details and points. likewise, partial truth is like telling the truth but not highlighting every single small detail and what not. partial truth is not wrong for it isn’t a lie. okay, at least partial truth from me isn’t, just like how i mentioned about my interpretation in the previous paragraph. every person has every right to choose what he want to say.

with that being sad, how so can partial truth be not entirely alright? it isn’t completely right when you know that the person you are giving the partial actually deserves the entire truth. in a very worst case of example, say a family member of your friend went to heaven after being wheeled to hospital hours earlier but you told that friend to the point of the hospital part and not the death. well, this is where it isn’t completely right. technically,, you aren’t at fault as well. you did not lie nor did you use lies to cover up the truth and what not. however, it is obvious that your sad friend deserves to know the entire truth, though it might hurt him big time. another aspect in which partial truth is not completely alright is when you start to use white or harmless lies to cover the partial part. well, to me this is somewhat deviating from the term already since i mentioned earlier giving partial truth involves no lies, harmful or harmless ones.

so, back to me, real personally. i will not deny the fact that i do give partial truth now and then. when i do, i do by my beliefs as well.. no lies and cover ups. however, if the recipient is smart enough to know i am hiding some part and insist on me telling, i would tell though with much unwillingness depending on the truth itself. yeah.. so now you know.

wildest dreams

i lava you

burning bridges

yes this is an update of my life.

i saw the warning signs. i saw a day like this would come sooner or later. just that i never expect it to really turn out this way. not complaining but just saying. meh.

recent events over the last couple of days and weeks really open my eyes a little more and assure my own instinct. ever since couple of "slaps" from life in those early days of puberty, i told myself to never let anyone in or close easily. i told myself not to trust anyone too easily. i told myself to be really aware of leeches. some find me ridiculous to live by such a strict personal rule. at times, i doubt if this kind of way is really too harsh on myself and people around me. guess not. recent events proved to me once again my instinct is right.

destroying the superficial bond you have with me is something i really don't mind. i can't call it friendship. okay, wrong, i won't even call it friendship not that i can't.. i just don't acknowledge so. from the start, you were fishy and what not. you got the face and actions of a leech from the beginning. i was careful and i was right to be so. i'm glad. normally, people whom i call friends will have a bridge that can be painful to destroy but your case is different. burning this bridge is something i am always ready for and willing to do. no regrets just feeling sorry for you. not feeling sorry to the extent i will lend a helping hand. not lending it because things like this is something one ought to deal on your own, something a supposedly mature thinking person should be able to sort it out. well, too bad you aren't what many think you are. not mature. not forgiving. just plain stubborn and ignorant. if pride is something you value more than any relationships, so be it.

with all those said, i would like to thank you for a number of things explicitly. thank you for assuring my gut feeling is reliable. thank you for showing me once a leech will always be a leech. thanks for making enough a fool of yourself and some people around you to let us know you aren't worth the time and effort.

ohh wells, relax people. i'm not angry or what not. just that these stuffs set me thinking now and then. keeping my own life and things happening around in check. just releasing heart felt thoughts here as usual. no worries. stay happy people. remember, you aren't born to please everybody anyway. do not go out thinking so.. for in the end you will hurt yourself most. know who is worth your time. know who is worth your time. not everyone does.

cheers.

mad rush

yes this is an update of my life.

so i was just reminded that the end of the 4th week of this semester is almost ending. two weeks of pure lectures and another two weeks of lectures and tutorials have just passed by like that. wonder what have i achieved really.. haha. everyday seems like a struggle to juggle with the modules i have this semester. yes, no one ever said university will be easy. yes, no one ever said higher level modules will be similar of easier than the lower ones. but.. damn the increase in stress is real.

the content is definitely crazier i would say. despite trying my best to pay attention during lectures and tutorials, i find myself ever trying to catch up with the syllabus. tough mountain to scale but i'm not giving up. i just want to rant and let my stressful thoughts flow out. saying out can be a remedy.. i hope. as for motivation, i am not sure if i can source for anymore.. haha. probably partly because it has been a while since i watched all the dramas or select a movie to watch. just waiting for middle of September where all the dramas that i follow will start to air again. then again.. the midterms will be looming by then.. haha damn semester one.

away from academics, i was also slightly disappointed when Science got knocked out of floorball IFG. ohh wells, we did really fought hard and played hard. the points where too tight to call and goal difference cost us our advancement to knock-out stages. the only blessing in disguise is me going home on the weekend when the competition continues.. unless i want to watch lol which is a real likelihood as well.. haha. ohh wells, shall try again next year. hopefully internship won't hinder my chances of making into the team.

speaking of internships, probably i have to start hunting for some if i ever want to land myself in an internship during the December holidays.

well, reflecting whatever is happening now here is kind of therapeutic. i held on for so long.. shan't give up that easily. things will be better i suppose. mean time hope you all are doing fine.

cheers.

pandora