swallowing you whole

people say NS changes a person. i say no. no, as in not that NS don’t change someone.. but rather i think what really change a person are the experiences and what not. just that guys have an additional luxury of 2 years to handle such crucial experiences. or at least that is what i feel. personally, i think the years in NS change me as a person. no, not really NS itself changing me but those events that happened during the course of 22 months. comparatively, i find myself better at handling stress and insecurities now as to those times before NS. you see, NS is the period of time where, aside from doing the mundane drills a soldier has to do, i could sort myself out, trying new perspectives and learning. 

stress and insecurities. everyone has them. everyone sure will have them some point or another. these are aspects of life that are inevitable in a fast pacing society like Singapore. however, the thing that really separates individuals when they are all faced with similar pressure is the ability to handle it. it’s an obvious statement but not many people really put it to context. okay.. let me rephrase that. many people know those stress and insecurities are affecting them and what not. they try to take it head on but after seeing not much improvements, they spiral into negative emotions.

well, before moving on, let’s hear the hard truth. stress and insecurities will eat you alive from the inside. upon that, you will feel a great void as you begin to question anything and everything. i say so for i have experienced so.

like i said, those are natural. they will visit you now and then. thing is how one respond to it really makes hell of a difference in your daily life. i used to one who will desperately try all methods to reduce it and after some time of not seeing any improvement, i will wallow in a deafening silence of self-pity. in the end, nothing good came out. no improvement. nothing. then after couple of wake up calls, i tried other ways to handle such emotions. methods differ from individuals as well. for me, i would always i am calm before even getting started to trying to solve the issue. if i sense myself too stressed or what to think straight, i would excuse myself away or not think about the problem for the time being. once calmed, i will not jump to the first solution i can think of. i weigh the pros and cons of all methods before deciding on one.

to be honest, putting those in words seem so silly. but if you can figure what i mean then good for you. if not, don’t fret just take your time to manage them. you know you have learned when those negative emotions don’t hit you often. good luck.