burning bridges

yes this is an update of my life.

i saw the warning signs. i saw a day like this would come sooner or later. just that i never expect it to really turn out this way. not complaining but just saying. meh.

recent events over the last couple of days and weeks really open my eyes a little more and assure my own instinct. ever since couple of "slaps" from life in those early days of puberty, i told myself to never let anyone in or close easily. i told myself not to trust anyone too easily. i told myself to be really aware of leeches. some find me ridiculous to live by such a strict personal rule. at times, i doubt if this kind of way is really too harsh on myself and people around me. guess not. recent events proved to me once again my instinct is right.

destroying the superficial bond you have with me is something i really don't mind. i can't call it friendship. okay, wrong, i won't even call it friendship not that i can't.. i just don't acknowledge so. from the start, you were fishy and what not. you got the face and actions of a leech from the beginning. i was careful and i was right to be so. i'm glad. normally, people whom i call friends will have a bridge that can be painful to destroy but your case is different. burning this bridge is something i am always ready for and willing to do. no regrets just feeling sorry for you. not feeling sorry to the extent i will lend a helping hand. not lending it because things like this is something one ought to deal on your own, something a supposedly mature thinking person should be able to sort it out. well, too bad you aren't what many think you are. not mature. not forgiving. just plain stubborn and ignorant. if pride is something you value more than any relationships, so be it.

with all those said, i would like to thank you for a number of things explicitly. thank you for assuring my gut feeling is reliable. thank you for showing me once a leech will always be a leech. thanks for making enough a fool of yourself and some people around you to let us know you aren't worth the time and effort.

ohh wells, relax people. i'm not angry or what not. just that these stuffs set me thinking now and then. keeping my own life and things happening around in check. just releasing heart felt thoughts here as usual. no worries. stay happy people. remember, you aren't born to please everybody anyway. do not go out thinking so.. for in the end you will hurt yourself most. know who is worth your time. know who is worth your time. not everyone does.

cheers.

mad rush

yes this is an update of my life.

so i was just reminded that the end of the 4th week of this semester is almost ending. two weeks of pure lectures and another two weeks of lectures and tutorials have just passed by like that. wonder what have i achieved really.. haha. everyday seems like a struggle to juggle with the modules i have this semester. yes, no one ever said university will be easy. yes, no one ever said higher level modules will be similar of easier than the lower ones. but.. damn the increase in stress is real.

the content is definitely crazier i would say. despite trying my best to pay attention during lectures and tutorials, i find myself ever trying to catch up with the syllabus. tough mountain to scale but i'm not giving up. i just want to rant and let my stressful thoughts flow out. saying out can be a remedy.. i hope. as for motivation, i am not sure if i can source for anymore.. haha. probably partly because it has been a while since i watched all the dramas or select a movie to watch. just waiting for middle of September where all the dramas that i follow will start to air again. then again.. the midterms will be looming by then.. haha damn semester one.

away from academics, i was also slightly disappointed when Science got knocked out of floorball IFG. ohh wells, we did really fought hard and played hard. the points where too tight to call and goal difference cost us our advancement to knock-out stages. the only blessing in disguise is me going home on the weekend when the competition continues.. unless i want to watch lol which is a real likelihood as well.. haha. ohh wells, shall try again next year. hopefully internship won't hinder my chances of making into the team.

speaking of internships, probably i have to start hunting for some if i ever want to land myself in an internship during the December holidays.

well, reflecting whatever is happening now here is kind of therapeutic. i held on for so long.. shan't give up that easily. things will be better i suppose. mean time hope you all are doing fine.

cheers.

pandora