no juices

yes this is an update of my life.

i can feel like i am barely breathing and i am still wondering why. it is only week 4 and the stress and workload is mounting like crazy on top of my head. despite taking one less module than usual semesters.. i am feeling a slightly bigger pinch and stress. no idea what to do but for now i am trying to pin to the root or roots of the problem.. the causes of brain juice being drained at an alarming rate.

could it be the fact that i am taking all core modules? well, probably.. then again, plus FYP, it would be four core modules.. same number as in year 1 semester 1. hmm.. obviously the content and standard are vastly different. nonetheless, the expectations and workload could be way higher a well. now, talking about expectations..

could it be that i am expecting too much from myself? thinking i am capable of doing way more than i can actually handle? biting more than i can chew, so to speak. juggling so many things at one go. nonetheless, i am trying to make my uni life count and treasure the very last year of formal education before heading to work. of course, postgraduate studies aren't out of the question yet but let's not leap too far for now.

could it be that i am encountering more obstacles in my FYP than i originally anticipated? i think this might be the main cause. though no hurry into analysis, i still want to start as soon as possible to avoid the busier periods of the semesters. i initially thought the bulk of my obstacles would be the analysing part and the coding part since the things expected are rather new. no, not that i never analyse or code.. but rather the nature and topic in which they are applied to are rather new to me. however, now even the data retrieval is giving me so many problems. i can only hope certain processes can move along faster so that i can start the coding on my laptop very soon.

could it be that the literature reading is frustrating me? my FYP involves a new concept in which no modules in NUS have taught.. hence i have to rely on countless literature reviews. thing is.. it is not easy and so far i do not have the confident to apply to my project yet. i am fully aware that this part of my FYP will not be the main task until late this semester or even during the winter break. still, i can't help to brood a little over it now and then.

someone once told me that i have a tendency to worry about things that haven't even happen or about things that i have no control over. thing is now i think most of the stuff mentioned above is within my control. am i right or wrong? regardless, i have to really find a way to boost my morale and add those juices to my brain real quick. thanks for reading my problems.. i know it isn't always nice to read things like this on blogs haha. until next time then, cheers.