Thursday, August 31, 2017

vibrated skull

yes this is an update of my life.

actually, i wanted to sleep but then laundry took longer than expected. hence, i shall make use of the little extra time i have to post here.

right now, my head is aching like crazy. free day felt as though like a work day with a rude awakening from renovation noise pollution. drilling and hammering all day two floors down from where i am sleeping. the whole morning.. the whole afternoon.. those sounds rang loudly in my ears and head. i can literally feel my skull vibrating like crazy. that was probably the cause of the current headache.

it is only week 3 and i am barely head above water. i can feel myself sinking really deep really fast. the amount of workload is indeed heavier though i am taking 3 modules apart from my FYP. probably due to the fact the content is way tougher and more time is needed to understand and apply.. or maybe it is just me being more stupid than i already am.. haha. ohh wells, juggling with more things i have been juggling in the past.

the month of September will be very torturous for me. i will be responsible for 4 students, 2 of which facing the PSLE soon. my weekends will be devoted to helping those 4, especially those 2. on the side of FYP, i am still secretly hoping that the dataset will arrive really soon. thereafter, i hope the coding and what not will move smoothly with minimal coding error or issues. i rather that i am faced with multiple deduction options and spend them deciphering which is optimal to best describe the runs than to keep ramming into coding errors. crash coursing a module is no joke.. i wonder if i crash course right. i will know real soon when i begin coding.

two tutorial presentations plus FYP deliverables.. then there is this individual assignment as well. all happening even before recess week lol. on one hand i cannot wait for the stressful September to be over real quick but on the other, if September flies by, means midterms will be waiting for me. if you see me losing hair these few weeks, please understand.. haha. until next time then, cheers.

Thursday, August 24, 2017

fear

yes this is an update of my life.

actually this will be a short update before i move on to writing what i actually wanted to set out to write in this post. end of week 2 is near.. just met with my FYP supervisor mentor earlier. had to present a little of what i have reading over the past few weeks. managed to clarify the few doubts i have as well. however.. datasets not ready. i felt a very good mix of happiness and sadness upon hearing that they are not ready. happy because i can put my FYP work on hold and focus on other things at hand. sad because i am quite hungry dive into the analysis and code writing.

you see, the slight bad thing about individual FYP is there is no pace or checkpoints to know if you are moving too fast or too slow or just right. the first deadline is already the submission of the full report in March. so the gap from now until then is up to each individual to fill with readings, analysis and writing. the amount of uncertainty is tremendous and probably the greatest among all the modules i have taken so far.

next, moving on to a thought on my mind today. fear. fear is a very tricky feeling.. it can hold you back and at the same time, it could be served as a motivation to do things. then, when the latter is applied, fear might pushed you too far to do something silly and then down you go on a slippery slope of unfortunate events. fear, after all, is what helped humans to evolve and survive so far.



fear was a great part of me when it comes to a certain aspect. this aspect would not be mentioned here right now but i promise i will mention it some time soon. okay, so yes, rewind few weeks ago, i was fearful of stepping out of my comfort zone to deal with a certain aspect of my life. it was so as i have faced failures in that area and the impact at times can be rather "memorable" and the reason side of my brain has always cautioned me to not feed on that aspect. i know fear is governing that reason side of my brain as the curiosity side of my brain is crying for me to step out of the comfort zone.

then, a close friend of mine actually urged and motivated me to take the leap out of the reason side of my brain, out of my comfort zone, out of my shell and feed that curiosity of mine. yeah i did, for my friend somehow managed to silence the reason side of my brain. so for weeks i have been exploring something that is clearly out of my comfort zone and today was sort of like a self-reflection kind of day.

i realised that stepping out of my comfort zone this time was rather interesting. i had both good and bad "results" when i expected only bad ones all this time. ohh my.. i sound so pessimistic there but i promise i am not that pessimistic as i sound.. my english is bad haha. so yeah, i cannot go into the specifics for now.. but when i mention about this again, i will. my point of bringing this up is, of course, to highlight the point of having fear. at the end of the day, i think it is not shameful or bad to have fear to govern you now and then but always remember that fear might not be always right when it comes to your personal interests and what not. i am thankful to have switched off my reason side of my brain these couple of weeks. until next time then, cheers.

Monday, August 21, 2017

kitchen destruction

yes this is an update of my life.

finally it is evening time.. no more thunderous drilling and hammering. despite having only an hour of class today, my head is spinning from the noise pollution. whole day the kitchen below where i am staying is undergoing renovation.. for who knows what reason.

could not do much reading or napping. ended up reading pointless texts pertaining to "Game of Thrones" haha. ohh man one more episode left before the end of the season. then the long wait for the final season begins. i am really happy how the story is going as of now.. apart from a few characters whom i wish are not alive still breathing.

now in the second week of semester and i though PGP R5 is trying to be like U-town residences with new added lifestyle and what not. so far very quiet.. haha not complaining just very puzzled. the only good thing is the common areas like kitchen and toilet are very clean.. well because most of my neighbours are Singaporeans. previous saw me living next door to people of a certain country who somehow were not taught how to flush after pee-ing or shit-ing nor not pouring wet food down the sink. ohh wells, this year's living environment is seemingly better so far. until next time then, cheers.

Saturday, August 19, 2017

3-in-1

yes this is an update of my life.

the next month of Saturdays will be rather crazy ones. 3 classes of tuition in each of them. well, yes i got a new tutee at long last. good and bad. good would be, after PSLE, i will still have this student to teach and earn a little pocket money to live by the following months of 2017. bad would be, traveling across three different estates in Singapore and giving tuition with minimal amount of rest. gosh.. may i survive this one month.

weekends are meant to rest, i know. apparently my definition of rest is just not to touch school work. so yeah.. Saturday is dedicated to tuition then Sunday would be my personal time.. and right now, the only day i get to sleep in apart from Wednesdays. well, come to think of it, i prefer to really make full use of weekdays to settle school work so on my free Wednesdays i would soon encourage myself to wake up early and make full use of the entire day. until next time then, cheers.

Thursday, August 17, 2017

tons of papers

yes this is an update of my life.

time seemed to fly by in this first week and it is not a good sign. if the slackest week passes by so quickly, how will it be when i reach those weeks where more time is needed to clear personal tasks and what not?

anyway, been easing into the final year slowly i guess.. really slowly. still in the play mode for now. just attended Student Life Fair as well. then, reality hit me.. this will be the last Student Life Fair that i will be enjoying. my last chance to grab all the freebies NUS and the sponsors have to offer. this is where age has caught up on me.. being kiasu.. okay, and maybe a little of auntie-ism. nonetheless, so far so good, i am enjoying my first week. i have not touched anything on other modules, except for one. that's right, FYP module ST4199.


still waiting for my FYP supervisor to reply me and hand me the few datasets that i have to deal with for the course of the project. in the meantime, i have been spam reading tons of papers. i laugh at how my initial idea of printing every important papers to read. thank goodness i did not feed to that OCD trait when it comes to this or my table would be like the picture above.

so yeah, been reading a lot of papers on literature review pertaining to my topic of research and also the various statistical methods and approaches. it will be a real struggle but i am glad i am given the opportunity to tackle an individual FYP. until next time then, cheers.

Tuesday, August 15, 2017

what is 8am

yes this is an update of my life.

woke up to a rather rainy morning today for classes. bus services were more crowded than usual. every start of the semester i would have a similar thought when riding the internal shuttle bus services. i would wonder how long would such a crowd last. because you see, students tend to start the semester with a strong sense of purpose of going to classes faithfully, hence the crowd. however, as weeks go by, excuses kick in and many will start to disappear resulting to a significant drop in numbers of commuters. so yeah.. i give them 3 or 4 weeks haha.

so four-days work week for me when most of my peers are enjoying three. nonetheless, i am happy with the modules i am taking presently. one very good thing is for the very first time in who knows how many semesters, i do not have early morning classes. 8am classes, i mean. so i get to wake up happy every morning, not regretting the time i head to bed the night before.


on all the days that i have classes, the first one starts at 10am.. meaning waking up at around 8:30am, which is a rather comfortable time to wake up for a weekday. so, two days have passed and i have attended at least one lesson from all the modules that i am taking. the feeling is still surreal though.. year 4.. the most senior student among the undergraduate students. until next time then, cheers.

Monday, August 14, 2017

uncertainty

yes this is an update of my life.

though this is only the first day of year 4, i can already describe what this academic year is going to be like.. uncertain. currently juggling quite a few things with my two bare hands. regular modules, FYP, tuition and some other things that i don't feel comfortable stating on this platform. this feeling of uncertainty will for sure remain for quite some time. nonetheless, i really hope to have the strength and wisdom to pull through them all.

that aside, let's talk about the best show on earth currently.. "Game of Thrones". just watched the latest episode couple of minutes ago and man i just realised there are only two more episodes left in this season. the plot thickens and every episode gets better and better. so excited to know how this season will end in two weeks time and then how this series will end in next year's season.

with GoT coming to an end, it would mean one thing too. the other shows that i usually follow every year will kick off there new seasons really soon, with the bulk of them starting in late September and October. these shows will definitely give school days more purpose.. haha. until next time then, cheers.

Saturday, August 12, 2017

strange waters

yes this is an update of my life.

bittersweet end to my internship and here i am resting a couple of days before wandering into the unknown of year 4. heard many stories and experiences from friends when it comes to doing FYP and completing the course of undergrad life. never really wonder how it would be like to really start and complete a FYP.. then it is happening. i am really amused at how time really past by so quickly. on to the final year doing an individual FYP.

many asked me if i ever consider further studies after these four years. maybe Masters or even PhD studies. well, my answer remains the same since the first time i was asked until today. i do not entire shut out those options. however, my primary aim after these four years would be clearing my school fees first and working a couple of years. i would very much to explore what is out there and what not.. hopefully in the course of doing so, chance upon some sponsorship or scholarship to add more motivation to further studies.

i don't jump before i learn to walk. i take on step at a time, only looking few steps ahead. so those are my plans for now. nonetheless, i have a FYP and undergraduate studies to focus on first for now. until next time then, cheers.

Thursday, August 10, 2017

time

yes this is an update of my life.

well, here it is, the end of my summer, the end of my internship as well. tomorrow marks the last weekday of summer and of course the last day of my internship.

being a data science intern over the last three months have been really full of ups and downs. i recalled scaling the very steep learning curve at the beginning of the attachment.. so much so i overworked myself and surrendered to fever for a full weekend. nonetheless, i was glad that things worked out and the projects assigned to me were off to a decent start. yeah, halfway through there were countless obstacles.. challenges and learning points, if you may. all in all i am really thankful for this opportunity and having a great supervisor. hopefully, my future supervisors will be at least as friendly as her.

bidding of modules is somewhat done for me. three modules, all of which are statistics modules although i am taking one of them as an UE. insane? maybe but i want to learn as much as i want to boost my CAP. no time to slack too much as well. it is going to be a real busy semester ahead.. probably the busiest though the number of MCs is less than previous semesters.

okay, on to the next thing that is related to the title of this post.


time. something money cannot buy. time is a measurement of many things.. including the value of friendship. time is of essence in friendships. to me, i would gladly reserve time for the friends whom i really care and hold on dear to. however, recently i have begun questioning my take on this.

is time not a good thing to share with your friends? have we live in the age where being busy is a legitimate excuse to bail in the eleventh hour? is being busy a legitimate excuse to go away from a phone for almost a day, leaving your friend hanging and wondering if plans are still on or not?

no. to me, it is simple, no. you don't take more than a minute to answer a simple yes or no question. you don't just forget about your friends the moment you get busy. if they really matter to you, you would be responsible enough to know these. busy is and always be an excuse no matter what. people usually use that reason to avoid people whom i do not want to hang out with. otherwise, they would suggest alternative or become proactive in re-arranging meet-ups. rich or poor, people from all walks of lives are given 24 hours a day to use. never ever complain about not having enough time. mind you, everyone has the same amount of time each day to utilise. if one cannot commit a small part of time on relationships, do not find any excuses to cover the lack of ability to time manage.

so there you have it, i said it all. now i am going back to question myself on whether i have been reserving my time for the right friend. until next time then, cheers.

Saturday, August 5, 2017

4 days

yes this is an update of my life.

well, coming week will be the last week of summer and also the last week of internship. Wednesday is a public holiday so four more days of internship. i don't know, i am having mixed feelings about this. on one hand, i prefer work life than school life.. something i am sure i have mentioned before here. on the other hand, i want it to end so i can enjoy work free and school free summer. well.. for the two days of weekends that is.. lol.

guess keeping myself busy is a good thing as well.. keeps my brain active, keeps my proficiency in R throughout the summer without needing to crash course again when lessons begin, keeps myself form being too bored, keeps myself feeling young at heart.. lol. okay the last one is silly but yeah.. so thankful for the opportunities i have this summer. indeed, i have learned a lot from working alongside a data scientist. 3 projects in 3 months.. can be torturous at times but i am glad i am given these chances.

busy weekend this weekend as well. heading out soon for early birthday celebration. my dad's and my birthday celebrations in a day. well, our birthdays are one day difference anyway. so 24 years ago, he received a live birthday gift that was in the making for 9 months or so.. lol. tomorrow i will be heading back to campus to move into PGPR. a year academic year awaits. until next time then, cheers.

Tuesday, August 1, 2017

kind stranger

yes this is an update of my life.

man ohh man.. my throat is so sore. the price to pay for eating two bags of chips in a week last week. been spamming water and what not last couple of days. hope to recover as soon as possible. having a fast food craving at this time is so bad.

actually i wanted to write today is not to rant about the sore throat but to praise a kind stranger whom i do not know his name. story goes that i was on the way to tuition and was rather early. so i decided to wander around the neighbourhood for a while. at the same time went to take on a legendary raid on Pokemon Go. i saw many others already that but apparently they were already fighting the boss. so i waited for a while then two players came, one of them being this kind stranger.

still, there were too few of us to play and we started chatting while waiting for more to join. that's when i know if i continued waiting, i will be late for tuition. the kind stranger knew that and offered me a ride there. ohh my.. so touched and thankful to that stranger. his game crashed just when we all started fighting. still, he live up to his offer and drove me to my tuition venue before heading back to the spot to fight with other groups of players.

i am the kind of person who have very little faith in people to be honest. every time i meet someone new, i expect the person to be unfriendly and cold and what not. today's incident remained me that there are genuine nice people out there.. even if you only met the person for less than an hour, he/she can be really friendly. until next time then, cheers.