yes this is an update of my life.
well, actually i am here to make noise about the ulcer situation in my mouth. three ulcers in the let side of my mouth and each of them is utterly painful and disruptive. okay i am kidding, of course i am going to say more.
the last few days i have been receiving countless number of punches. well, not literally but yeah mental punches. i have been fighting battles that cannot be fought by others besides me. maybe i will slowly reveal some over the next few posts. but yes, i can see myself slowly coming back here active again.. i hope. juggling FYP oral presentation, class 2A lessons, school classes, private tuition classes and job hunting. then social life comes in.. at times i find myself wanting to lock myself in a room and enjoy the peace and tranquility of being alone after dealing with those pressing tasks.
am i weird to put social life not as a top few priority? in fact, i realised i put alone time above social life. well, no wonder i always use the line of "introvert by default, extrovert by choice" to describe myself. until next time then, cheers.
Thursday, March 15, 2018
Sunday, March 11, 2018
Thursday, March 8, 2018
empathy
people ask me to have more faith and trust in others every now and then. when i choose to believe more in the good of people, i get disappointed in the end. well, maybe this recursive experience is the main reason why the walls around me are seemingly solid against most people.
where does empathy takes one to? where does being nice takes one to? well, in this society where the cutthroat behaviour is evident.. these traits are more often than not the bane of one's lifestyle. being nice and giving in do not necessarily take you anywhere good. people instead will exploit your good will and milk your kindness.. then by the time you realised it.. well, you are already too late. you are dry and empty, unable to accomplish the personal needs you set aside in the midst of helping. who then will be there to help? yeah people might sympathise with you. yeah people might offer the listening ear. yeah people might try to encourage you. however, how often do they really lend a hand?
problems faced by one can be divided into two main groups. there are problems where people are glad you have them and then there are problems where people will take notice but not help you. ironically, some of those people are the ones who ask why i love to be alone at times. well, save the disappointment. funny though.. with these walls some more thick skinned people might still be able to break through.. no, not to reach out but to exploit you further. at times i wonder if it was my fault that those walls are not built strong enough to hold them out.
in a society so focus on self-validation, the majority is so focused on themselves that they start ignoring things happening in plain sight. things that matter more than likes on Instagram.. things that matter more than retweets on Twitter.. things that matter more than the grades on certificates. i am sad.. no not for myself, but more for what the supposedly most advanced species on the planet has become.
where does empathy takes one to? where does being nice takes one to? well, in this society where the cutthroat behaviour is evident.. these traits are more often than not the bane of one's lifestyle. being nice and giving in do not necessarily take you anywhere good. people instead will exploit your good will and milk your kindness.. then by the time you realised it.. well, you are already too late. you are dry and empty, unable to accomplish the personal needs you set aside in the midst of helping. who then will be there to help? yeah people might sympathise with you. yeah people might offer the listening ear. yeah people might try to encourage you. however, how often do they really lend a hand?
problems faced by one can be divided into two main groups. there are problems where people are glad you have them and then there are problems where people will take notice but not help you. ironically, some of those people are the ones who ask why i love to be alone at times. well, save the disappointment. funny though.. with these walls some more thick skinned people might still be able to break through.. no, not to reach out but to exploit you further. at times i wonder if it was my fault that those walls are not built strong enough to hold them out.
in a society so focus on self-validation, the majority is so focused on themselves that they start ignoring things happening in plain sight. things that matter more than likes on Instagram.. things that matter more than retweets on Twitter.. things that matter more than the grades on certificates. i am sad.. no not for myself, but more for what the supposedly most advanced species on the planet has become.
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