a day before

yes this is an update of my life.

i will not be posting here or very very little over the next week. will be heading in for my first ever cycle of reservist. while quite a few of my peers will be heading to their 2nd or 3rd cycle, mine will be the first. haha.. ohh well, still got quite a handful who are yet to be called back as well. so yeah.. the next few days will be in camp most of the time.

they actually gave us the option to stay out.. but considering the location of Seletar Camp and the amount to time needed for me to travel to and fro.. i have decided to stay in. well, i'm not alone anyway.. many are choosing to do so as well. not too bad.. at least we can chill in places near the camp, stay in camp for football or even just to chill and catch up with one another's lives.

feels as though today was the day before my enlistment. so into the life of civilian and now you are expected to head back to army life. the differences would be the amount of things to be brought in and the people whom i will be with for the duration. ohh wells, get to take a break from my internship stress as well. part exciting, part unwilling. time to get my fat lazy ass to exercise. until next time then, cheers.

another summer day

undeserved help

i am happy where i am. not many people can say that about themselves these days. probably so due to the fact that they take things as they are without appreciating that they are there  or due to the fact that they choose to spear through life without pausing now and then for a rest. or due to the fact that they just don’t even want to care. be that as it may, i’m glad i’m able to say so today. of course, me being happy about where i am and what i have now does not mean i gave up striving. i still strive just with the motivation of me being happy with what i have and where i am now. 

the world is already a bad place to be in with all the bad news delivered across the globe day in day out. i’m just thankful for those who have been by my side no matter what. i’m just thankful for those who have not pushed me aside despite my flaws and short comings. i’m just thankful for those who have helped me through the path i’ve walked thus far.

help. it is something people exchange with another person, often without expecting much in return. to me, i see it as undeserved help. that is why i’m thankful for those help given along the way. personally, i think help is given undeservingly to people most of the time. mind you, the “people” here i talk about also includes me. that is human nature i presume. like i said, the world is already a bad place, hence we tend to choose graciousness and kindness. when encountering such a gesture, it would not kill to show appreciation because the person offering you this undeserved help chose to do so to you. he/she can offer it to anyone elsewhere but he/she chose you. the simplest thing one could return is a simple word of appreciation.

however, there are always those rotten apples that would choose to take all for granted, thinking all these help he/she is receiving or should receive is mandatory and hard earned or owed by the giver. in worse case, the receiver would even blurt sarcasm comments. like i mentioned before, i also believe in second chances. i would try understand your situation and what not initially but if things remain the same, such scorn can be a real turn off. i’m a little porcupine if such things happen consistently because of the fact that i was burnt quite a few years ago while busy being nice.

at that time, i did not pause to think about the situation much. i thought being nice, being yourself would be alright. turned out not. not everyone appreciates what you do. not everyone can be pleased. while you can be nice to everyone, there will not be guarantee that they will do the same back. in such cases, i’ve learned to pause and question my efforts. would i want to carry on doing what i’m doing and getting sarcastic remarks on the other end. or should i choose to ignore the person. after all, these are undeserved help anyway. well, good to ponder and good to act on it.. but i don’t want to rush into anything. just a period of thinking and questioning. for now.